Thursday, January 14, 2016

I'm robbed, help!

I'm getting busier now. I have received more responsibility from my seniors and been getting our office late now (partly because I came in late).

Nevertheless, not that I did not enjoy my job, I just feel my time is robbed now. I go back late, which always force me to drop by a Masjid on my way home for Maghrib prayer. Usually I reach home around the time for Isya'.

So I'll be reaching my home around 9 - and always feeling tired. Unless I have a prior appointment, I will just either studying Japanese, or reading book until 10-11 pm and go to sleep. Or worse, I browse through twitter idling around unproductively. Unfortunately, the latter is happening more often.

So today, after meeting up with my friends I passed by Bangsar South from Kerinchi LRT. It surprises me that at 10 there are still people going back from work. Granted, they probably meeting people or have a few important jobs to finish after all. But when I walked by in the glimpses of the white lights of rising office buildings, few lights are still on! I glanced over my watch and it is past 10 pm already. Can you really work that? How about work-life balance?

Then I reasoned, what if your work is what makes you happy - then there, it's your life!

I just sighed. Nowadays, that the things that I can really do well. There is something about sighing that while unproductive in many scenarios, it helps you to release. As if the heavy breath your lungs exhale, is contained with percentage of your concerns and problems. It does not solve anything, true. But it helps you.

Or maybe deep inhaling does.

Something to do with lungs I guess, that has heart sandwiched between.

Probably that is! Your lungs are the (partial) conduit for the worries of your heart.


Meh.



Counting my blessings, I am really grateful for a job but money never seems enough. With a very conservative rate my company provides, I still manage to save quite a few bucks from my monthly salary - but that is with me not having any commitment. I'm thinking of getting myself a motorcycle but I'm hesitating because I still need my car when the office scheduled for a site (which is always, always only one to two day prior notice) and the flat I'm living enough isn't really conducive for parking your car. 

There are another two items that sucking my savings. Prepaid Top-Up and Food. I tried to limit myself for RM 50/mo but I never succeeded. I already have a broadband service going on but I still need my data for some purposes. While food, this month, I have been spending like a lot on them. 


Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Judgment

I just realized - while some are struggling to not to have themselves being defines by others, the same people may try their best to "direct" others to define them in ways they want. 

i.e I don't want you to judge me that way so I said something to let you judge in the way I wanted it to be. 

Funny. Sometimes in our means to run from others' expectation we invite them to expect the other way around. And the only reason we allow it to happen (that it's okay) is simply because we expect it ourselves. 

So Ayn Rand is right? This is in many instances that being selfish is moral because we can't help ourselves to not to be selfish?