Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Stream of Time

I don't really know how to play with words beautifully like my friend does. he even wrote and published a book. So that's evident enough that I don't say that out of my personal reference. However I realized, I am quick in grasping (and often obsessing) over ideas.

Then it becomes a pain the neck when these ideas become superfluous thanks to internet and cheap books, it flooded my mind --and put a halt to my action. In many moments of my chain of thoughts, I always ask myself, "What's the best for me to do?" Of course, I would take into account many stuffs in such as my personal responsibility and liability, my environment and last but not least, human perception. Luckily as I grow, I  manage to reduce human perception on my decided actions - not that it does not matter, but most of the time, it doesn't.

Coming back, I realized the idea I subscribed to and defined myself with is no longer something that I would like to maintain. I figured, maybe it's about time to re-learn on how I look and perceive this world. I have been tiptoeing on my previous ideas lately, waiting to find the right stream and just jump myself into it. Unfortunately that right stream is out of sight (yet).

Let me be clear. I found the idea of progressive Islam is quite appealing (by that I mean the effort to harmonize Islam in our recent understanding of human rights and  civil society). Nevertheless the action of those people, who claim to be so, or most of the time, I see them as progressive --do not actually echo my ideal stream.

(Sorry I am being vague again and again).

I don't see humility dealing with their counterparts.

I don't see personal piety (No, I am not talking about whether they do Qiam or not, just day-to-day basis like in talking and attire).

Face it. I do not want to do "socially rightful" thing and ending up in the undesirable place where my body is roasting to dust.  At the same time I believe this world can be a better place with Islam --although many deem it to be impossible considering many of the organized religions have a narrow sense of what makes a good community, in terms of sexuality and family institution, treatment towards ideological differences, terrorism incitement and so on.

However the real problem of this world, in this period, is not really about organized religions and the corruption within (yes there are but the effect is minimal). It's about the inequality and money-driven world and the pursuit of self gratification and justification. Don't tell me that we don't have enough natural resources because if the resources were not gained for the benefit a few, we wouldn't be in a hot mess that we are in now. Don't tell me that people don't seek solace and sense of belonging in whatever form they could identify with. It could be religion or anti-religion ideologies or anywhere in the middle to the extreme of both ends. People want to feel good about themselves and justification on their actions and believe. It's just how people are made.

Why I believe Islam could answer this?

Personally it's because I am convinced by the proofs that I accustomed myself with, and second, when you have some entity that's greater than you and you will be paid accordingly as to what you had done in this world in the Hereafter, would you do bad things to other?

Morality, I believe, is hard to maintain without any spiritual consciousness. Yes, no doubt some people has a very deep sympathetic feeling towards others but most of us, well, just don't have it. Rules are made not for the few, but to govern the human inside us. Humans are created differently and that's why enforcing these rules (be it self-enforcement or organized) is hard.

So in our pursuit of getting things right within our bleak strength and utter weaknesses, we are presented with the so called trials of life.

As Quran asserts,

And We divided them throughout the earth into nations. Of them some were righteous, and of them some were otherwise. And We tested them with good [times] and bad that perhaps they would return [to obedience]. (7:168)

Good or bad, how can we make use of them? More importantly, how we can encourage goodness and prevent the bad? In this stream of time, I am still questioning myself.

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