Judgment

I just realized - while some are struggling to not to have themselves being defines by others, the same people may try their best to "direct" others to define them in ways they want. 

i.e I don't want you to judge me that way so I said something to let you judge in the way I wanted it to be. 

Funny. Sometimes in our means to run from others' expectation we invite them to expect the other way around. And the only reason we allow it to happen (that it's okay) is simply because we expect it ourselves. 

So Ayn Rand is right? This is in many instances that being selfish is moral because we can't help ourselves to not to be selfish?